Moral Perseverance

Well, I'm about 1/4 of the way through the first draft of my short story, its going along just fine and I'm enjoying it. It'll still be awhile before I'm ready to post it here though. So, I figured I'll discuss something new today.

Every night, in my attempts to lose weight, I like to go for a 3 mile walk. This is great for me as an aspiring writer as it gives me a chance to think and come up with ideas for what to write about, it also just allows me to come up with some strange ideas and questions to ponder. The short story that I'm working on is actually based on one of these ideas that I think we've all thought about at certain points in our lives.

I consider myself a decently moral person, I don't go around sleeping with any woman I can, I've never stolen anything and I hate hurting people. So not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty sure I'm a good person. Yet, I can't help but wonder if I really am moral on the inside, or if its just situational morality. I mean, perhaps the only reason I'm "moral" is because its the easy route. Maybe I don't steal because from a cost-benefit analysis I'm more scared of getting in trouble than whatever the potential stolen item is worth to me. Maybe I don't sleep around because I'm not attractive enough to pick up tons of women. I can tell you that to an extent these are true, I don't want to get arrested and I'm not very good with women. I actually admit that the only reason I follow laws are out of a fear of consequence, but this is due to me being an anarchist. I don't acknowledge state laws as having any authority over me, they have force and that is it. So the question of whether or not I'm a moral person is difficult.

I think that the only way to tell if someone is moral is to put them in a situation that truly tests their morals. If you tell someone, "There's a thousand dollars sitting in that open register, and nobody will ever know if you take it," will they take it? Yes, we have those guys that give a cashier money back if they give them the wrong change, but that's nothing, 10 or 15 dollars. What if we put them in a situation where they could truly gain a lot from going against their morals, without suffering any consequences? I like to think that I would rise above the temptation and not do it, but if the reward is great enough I can't deny that I might give in.
 

Progress on My First Short Story

I started writing it last night, actually I barely slept last night because when I wasn't writing I was thinking about it. I think that my lack of sleep is a good sign, it shows that I actually care about these things enough to stress about them. At the same time, it had some bad effects being that I needed to work today and I was absolutely exhausted.

From what I've read, a writer needs to write 1,000 words a day to practice their art. That's a lot. Last night I came into this thinking I could have a whole short story done within a day. By the end of the night I wrote about 500 words, and it took some time. Than I deleted them all. I'm at 410 now. So you may need to wait a little while for my first story to be put up here. I don't think it will be hard to write 1,000 words a day, but it might be hard to write 1,000 words a day and use them effectively at the same time.

I also read that your first writings are going to be crap. I have an ego, a huge ego, so of course I'm telling myself that it won't be true for me. My first story is going to be pure awesome. Well, 400 words in and that ego is shrinking. I don't think its going to be crap, but its not what I was hoping for. I'm half-tempted to erase it all and start a completely different story, but I won't because I know that my different story would turn out just the same. The only way for my next story to be better is for me to force my way through these first tougher stories and learn to write well.

So, right now I don't see my first story as going to be anything amazing, but I also still have hopes for it. Who knows, maybe if I keep editing, rewriting, and polishing the story I might come out of this with something I can be proud of.

Introducing... Scott Berman

Imagine one of those guys with the funny hats and striped shirts on a stage in front of a quiet audience with one of the most awesome voices on earth. It doesn't matter if this is at a poetry club, comedy club, or music hall. Imagine any setting where there is a small stage for a small crowd and it works perfectly for this situation. As you listen to the man's extremely lame jokes he finishes up and says, "and now, introducing the one the only... Scott Berman.", but nobody claps because nobody actually knows who this Scott Berman is.

Well, that's how it feels right now for me writing this blog. I am nobody at the moment, and this blog is me coming out onto the stage for the first time. I may not physically be out there for an audience, but even sitting in front of a computer screen I feel butterflies in my stomach.

I want to write, I want to make something out of words that people will read and enjoy, or feel inspired by, or maybe be utterly disgusted. As an introvert, it seems every writer claims to be an introvert, I feel a need to express myself because it is so difficult to speak to even those I do feel close to. So, I plan on writing, and I plan on using this blog as my stage.

Imagine your at a club listening to a comedian or musician performing his first show. Feel free to give feedback, that way I can learn what I'm doing wrong or right, and keep coming back to see how I've grown.

And now, I am going to get to work on writing my first short story ever for you, my audience, to enjoy.

Thanks,
Scott